My civic duty

I voted today. I did my civic duty. My voice was heard…and I have the sticker to prove it! J As I stood in line I began thinking about the two presidential candidates. I thought about their faults, their shortcomings and their promises. And I made a decision. I made a decision right there to where my vote was going. 

So, I am happy to say that today I voted for grace AND I voted for love. 

Whether we like it or not, tomorrow morning we will have a new President-elect--one that will probably need lots of prayer. Some of us will celebrate that “our” candidate won and some of us will feel as though our country is lost. But above both sides, both political parties, we know what God wants for us. He tells us in Colossians 3:12 that since we are God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Verse 13 then goes on to say bear with each other and forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

These verses remind me that above all else we need to give grace and extend love. We need to give grace and extend love to the two presidential candidates and to the neighbors around us who we may disagree with. I want to live a life that is full of grace and love. Don’t you think if we could reach for love first, with grace right behind, then the rest would take care of itself? I know both sides have their ideas of what is best for our country, but I think what’s best for our country was written down a long time ago. In 1 Peter 4:8 it says, above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Well, I’m not sure about you but I think this should be the campaign slogan for this entire presidential race! 

Each of the candidates has sins. Each of us has sins, that’s a fact. But love covers all of that. If we choose to love each other DEEPLY and let God sort out the rest, then in my book we have won. We won the real battle. The one we struggle with every year…election or no election. The battle that love should be what drives us. Love helps us reach a hand out over a great divide and grace allows us to forget why the divide was there to begin with. Because above all else, we are all children of God. We are all created in His image. We are so much more than a donkey or an elephant. We are devoted followers of Jesus that know to give grace, to love deeply and to put our trust in the lamb.  

Are you afraid of the dark?

Fear.

I don’t even like the way that words feels as I type it. The bible says perfect love casts out fear and while I know this is true, quite frankly sometimes I am just scared. I know God has it in his hands, I know it was already written in my life story long ago but I still find myself wanting to hide under the covers. You know that feeling when you were little and you could either get out of bed in the dark room to walk to your parents room or hide under the covers, yeahhh... that feeling. Oh how I wished I could magically make a light come on back then because there was NO way I was walking through the dark!!

One thing that has me ducking under my cozy comforter lately has been a decision for my career. Now for those of you who don’t know me well, I am a planner! I love the feeling of buying my calendar/planner for the year and color coding activites for my family. Each person has their own color and it all coexists in my planner…also known as my brain! I enjoy having things laid out and quite frankly dislike when last minute things get thrown at me. You can see how this NEVER happens with a husband, two children and a teaching job!! So of course I have had to learn to roll with the punches a bit, but I still love when the month is mapped out and more importantly when I know where I am going. So, there has been a new development in my life lately and I am scared because God gave me a path, but I have NO IDEA what’s down it, how I get down it or even how to take the first step! You can see how this would make me a little weak at the knees. So I’m researching scripture that talks about fear and the main idea I keep getting is that we aren’t supposed to do it. Easy as that. Just don’t fear. Don’t worry, don’t fear. And I don’t know about you but that just aint me! I wouldn’t say I’m a fearful person, but I would say that there are moments when I am afraid, I know God has my back, yet I cannot release the fear. 

For example, I had one of my best friends tell me she had a growth she was worried about. So naturally I began to worry too. We prayed as she went to her MRI and she did great! But the text I got later said “Surgeon called me back and wants me to come in the morning for a biopsy.” No. No no no, we prayed about this and you rocked your MRI and everything was going to be okay. Here’s the deal-- We didn’t know if this would be okay. I spent the morning on my face praying that God would keep the dreaded C word from the diagnosis. I prayed he would be the great healer I knew he was and just take it away. I prayed for all the things I had asked Him for in the last month to just be scratched and to please oh please answer THIS prayer. (How many of you have done that? “God, all the other stuff was so meaningless in light of this new situation, please forget my other prayers and answer this one!!”) I then spent the rest of the morning trying to keep myself busy so I wouldn’t sit and worry. I knew that my worry would truly change nothing. Every song that came on the radio was total affirmation that God heard my cries and was sending comfort and reassurance through the beautiful melodies and words.  But I know how these things go. I see the diagnosis for other people these days and how we have children with cancer and young mothers with cancer and friends’ parents with cancer. I know how it goes. Sometimes God doesn’t take it away. He is the great healer. Still. But sometimes it’s not his will. So I decided to do the only thing I could and help make a prayer shield for her. I contacted family and the wonderful ladies of my small group to pray hard for her to have peace and for the diagnosis to be positive. I spent the next few hours flipping back and forth from praying to planning. I was planning how I would help with her children if she had to have lots of procedures. Planned out how I would go with her to chemo and bring popsicles. Planned how we would laugh through it all because I would not allow a disease to change one single thing about our amazing friendship. And then I got the text. With trembling hands I opened it and read that there would be no planning on my part. God had already taken it in His hands. No cancer. Tears of joy fell, praises rang out and the greatest thanks went up. God had answered the prayer. The one that I asked him to please remember. Now I’m not saying my prayer was the one that did it but I do know there was a chorus of women praying for the same thing and I know He heard us all.

So why the fear? The scriptures in Isaiah tell us “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you do not fear I will help you” That image I see of God taking hold of my hand (and maybe squeezing it between both of his because sometimes I need that reassurance of two hands encapsulating one) and sweeping the debris from my path with his foot so that I won’t stumble is enough to make my eyes sting with tears and my throat go dry. When we meditate on His word and visualize the scriptures like a movie in our mind, how can we have time to fear!? We must hide the word in our hearts each day so that we are walking in the truth. Satan, the great deceiver, wants us to tiptoe through life like someone walking through a Halloween exhibit. Jumping at each sound and imagining the worst possible scenario. Jesus doesn’t want that for us. He wants us to bring things into the light and let the truth be revealed. He doesn’t want things kept in the dark because that’s where Satan whispers lies to us. Lies that tell us to be afraid. Lies that tell us the worst will probably happen.  And lies that ultimately tell us to wonder if God is really with us. Whether it’s a fear of the unknown path God set before us or the doctor visit we are dreading, we cannot allow ourselves to believe the lies. We cannot wallow in the worry. We must meditate on the promises of God and hold on so tightly to that hand He has stretched out to us and KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that He is “working all things together for good for those who love Him.” What a relief, right?! We have a good, good Father who walks through the dark room, leans down and turns on the light. Now I may have stumbling feet sometimes that want to fall to the right or left, but my heart wants me to walk in that light my Father turned on for me. The light that shines down an amazing path.  And guess what—I’m finding I don’t even care that I am unsure where it leads!! I trust my Jesus more than my calendar/planner. I know you do as well so I encourage us now to walk in the light my friends. Walk in the light.

Stay Strong Mommas

It's that time of year again....bookbags, pencils, early mornings and the ever so lovely car lines! It's back to school!! Now this momma has done the first day routine two years now. You know the first day I'm talking about, the snotty face crying, the fear of the unknown, the scared lump in the throat....oh and the kids are probably nervous too! Seriously, dropping off your little baby who has needed you for everything thus far in his or her life to just fend for themselves in a big scary school is enough to make you want to scream at the door "MAKE GOOD CHOICES! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU!! HEY ALL YOU MEAN KIDS...YOU MESS WITH THEM--I MESS WITH YOU!!" But you don't really want to be carted off to the padded cell so you simply smile, hold in the tears and pray with all your might that they will be alright.
I realize how hard this day is for moms and I am watching my friends go through the first day (okay week) fears as I write this. This got me thinking...what are we so afraid of?


Afraid they will be picked on?
Afraid they won't learn the same as the child beside them?
Afraid they won't remember to actually eat their lunch? (Because we know we have to remind them 17 times at our dinner table!)
Afraid they'll forget everything we taught them?
Or afraid they'll forget us all together?
Whatever the fear may be (realistic or irrational) for us, the question remains...are we going to sit by and let it overwhelm us or are we going to remember what we taught those sweet precious souls. That His perfect love casts out all fear. We taught them to call on Jesus when the bad dreams wake them in a cold sweat. We taught them to call on Jesus when Mommy is gone and their hearts are aching...hmmmm. Now there's something familiar here. Something is telling me that we Mommas need to take our own advice. Ouch! Don't you hate when that happens?
The reality of the situation is that we do have to lean on Him and remember that His love will cast out all our fears. I know it's easier to watch the minutes tick by (and wonder why your house clock is SO much slower now) and get in the elusive car line two hours early but we could try to trust that those little seeds we placed in our kids' hearts will still be there to grow as they make their way through those long hallways. The seeds that God planted in us we have given to our children. Now is not the time to run scared or be consumed with worry. Now is the time to hold strong to our faith. Faith. Ya know, that thing that means complete trust or confidence in someone or something. I tend to think about Abraham when I think about faith. I cannot imagine how he felt the many times he knew the situation was hopeless, but he held onto his faith. And he was rewarded. There's a whole chapter in Romans that highlights how he was justified by faith. It says that "he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." Wow. This makes me think back to all that God has promised me. Didn't He say he would protect me? Didn't He say he would save me? Didn't He say He would never leave? Didn't he say he would continue these promises through our children and generations to come? He did. He promised. I remember. And you know, I want to show my big 1st grader and Kindergartener that I have faith not when it's easy, but when it's hard. We can do this. We have a great supporter. The ultimate supporter.


And the last thing I will say is we have done a pretty darn good job as these munchkins mommies! We have corrected and punished, loved and snuggled, rewarded and celebrated all their lives and they will always know that! Now it's our chance to share them with the rest of the world. Let those teachers be blessed by their sweet heartfelt love or their inquisitive little questions. Let the light we helped nurture turn into a flame for the entire school to see! They will change the world....they have already changed ours, haven't they?! They will magically eat their lunch and not go hungry. They will make new friends. They will share the love in their hearts with those who have never felt important. They will raise their tender hand and answer that question right. And at the end of the day they will come running to us from that school bus or carline with eager arms ready to wrap around our necks! What a sweet reward for us being so strong! ;) Stay strong mommas, YOU ROCK and you can do this!!

Now back to this whole car line thing....wouldn't it be worth our tax dollars to have a massage section just as you get to the halfway point?! Just throwin it out there!

On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

I’m sure you all know where this is going…Mean Girls! The movie came out ten years ago and had us all laughing at the ridiculous clique-driven high school scene. I’m sure for some of us it hit home in a few spots as well. Can you believe that ten years later we still hear little one liners from the movie and know exactly where it came from?! Can you believe that ten years later we think of the term “plastic” as more than just a synthetic material. And can you believe that ten years later we are seeing more and more of the “mean girl” epidemic in real life?! Did no one see Regina George get slammed by that bus at the end?? And although some of what I see is on social media, what is on my heart today is what I am hearing about in preschool.

Yes, you read that last word correctly. I have heard stories lately of 4 year old girls criticizing clothes, telling one another they “aren’t friends” and directing other girls not to sit by “that” girl. Really? 4 years old? I thought I would have a few more years before my child is refusing to wear a certain pair of pants because “Suzie* laughed at those pants when I wore them, I don’t want to wear them anymore.” (* names have been changed to protect the innocent heehee!) This Mama Bear did not like hearing that come from her girl's lips. At. All. I wanted to march right up to that school and find the Mini-Regina who laughed at my girl and sit her down for a quick chat! That fire comes up in me like I’m sure it does for all of you moms out there as well. But what I want even more than that little sit-down is for HesterGrace to be strong enough to stand up for who she wants to be. I want her to fight her own battles (and win of course LOL). No, seriously I want her to remember that above everything, all the noise and distractions, that God’s opinion of us is the only one that matters. And I can guarantee He is more worried about our hearts than our choice of pants.

It is my desire to equip HesterGrace with biblical truths that speak life into her broken heart and provide courage to face her giants. It is also my desire for the mommies of this world to do the same. Unfortunately, I find myself wondering if we have a generation of “mean mommies” who are raising mean girls. I’m not sure they are doing it on purpose, but we are so saturated in social media and…let’s be honest…bragging about our children online that we are creating little self-absorbed mean girls. I just had a friend tell me that her daughter came out of her dance class and said “mommy the mean girl let me sit beside her!!” Can we please read that again? “Mommy, the mean girl LET me sit beside her.” Now correct me if I’m wrong but I’m thinking that this little 4 year old hasn’t learned how to exclude people and tell others where to sit by watching the movie “Mean Girls.” We as mommies have to set the right example. I know it’s all smocking and bows and designer boots at first but then it turns into a clique of Matilda Jane-Persnickity-UGG-Wearers that exclude the Target wearing child. I’m not saying you can't dress your little girl in any of those designer brands (they’re FABULOUS) but I am saying to not let the labels define her. And I promise if you make the label a big deal, she will too. She hears you say things about your Mommy friends’ clothes or how you would never be caught dead in “that” outfit and she follows suit. She also doesn’t miss it when you snub your nose at the girl in the hand-me-down leotard in the dance studio lobby. They’re watching us. They’re remembering. They’re learning by our example.

I am so thankful that I did not grow up in this Selfie Social Media generation and I don’t have the habit of looking at how many likes my picture gets on Instagram to measure my self-worth.  I do think that we, as mommies, can fall into the deep canyon of what I call the Facebook Faceoff. “Well if little Jane has those boots and that outfit for apple picking then my Sally needs an outfit even better if I’m going to post pictures.” And suddenly a fun family day of apple picking is spent fussing at her not to get that expensive outfit dirty before you snap the perfect picture. It’s a steep climb to get out of that canyon. I speak from experience…unfortunately. And I’m only sharing this with all of you so you can see that I am no Super Mom and I’m right there beside you trying my hardest to be a good one--and sometimes falling down. Plus, I think real friends are honest! I loved having HesterGrace in everything smocked and frilly in the first few years of her life. She was my real life baby doll!! I found myself needing an outfit for each change of season, holiday, birthday party and family picture session. Oh—and a matching bow!! I also found myself loving the compliments on how cute her outfits were. Then suddenly she turned 3 and needed NO help picking out clothes. We would fight most mornings, especially Sundays—let me hang my head in shame on that note – on her outfit of the day. “That isn’t appropriate for church/school/picture day” is what I would say to her but on the inside I was saying “she can’t wear that…what will people think?” I was choosing what other people MIGHT think over my own child’s confidence at that moment. Confidence that her mommy truly believed she was beautiful in whatever she wore. Confidence that she so badly needed from me. When that truth smacked me in the face it was not a frilly feeling. It was a sobering realization of how far I’d fallen into the canyon that  I  created. So now, today (through gritted teeth sometimes) I choose her. I choose to give her the freedom to dress herself in what makes her happy and gives her confidence to face that day with a smile. Because after all isn’t that what we truly want for our daughters? To be confident, independent girls who won’t let a mean girl walk all over their hearts. Confident teenagers who choose a mission trip with their family over a spring break party at the beach. Confident young women who one day will choose the man who truly makes them happy over the one who looks picture perfect. Let’s help them make wise decisions that make their heart and their God happy. Let’s equip them to be confident enough to take the path less traveled and make a difference!

I pray I can be the mom who is my daughter’s biggest cheerleader while also being the voice of reason that guides her life with love and kindness. May her mouth be filled with kind words and her heart full of God’s love. May I set the right example for her to see those things in me. After all, we lead by example right? I also pray that we can raise a generation of God’s Girls who think “mean girls” is just a movie title.

Thanks Arie Cat for being an example of a girl whose heart is full of love and mouth full of kind words.

 

Dancing Through Disney

Well we did it! We made it to the happiest place on earth! Walt Disney World! We have been planning for 3 years and finally saved the money and went all in! We did the resort, dining plan, four days in the park, the whole she-bang!! And it was magical! But the funny thing was it wasn’t The Mouse that made this vacation magical. It was a whole new level of magic for me.

Okay so let’s be honest if you’re on Pinterest you know there are hundreds of blogs designed for “The Best Disney Trip with Toddlers” or “The Money Saving Disney Trip” or “How To Get The Most Out of WDW” and I, being the planner that I am, read most (okay all) of the ones I came across! I was on Disney Download Mode!! I had all the tips, secrets and packing lists of those who have gone before me. I downloaded the app with our reservations and ride wait times on my phone. I found a double jogging stroller for those late nights in the parks. I booked with THE BEST Disney travel agent there is—message me for her contact info J -- I was ready! And then we made it to Disney and half of my plans went out the window! For starters, it rained every day we were there. Now I had read the blog about how September is bad for rain but it usually clears up after about 20 minutes so throw a poncho on and wait it out! Well, it didn’t! It rained and then misted and then drizzled and then poured! So we were a tad soggy on a daily basis! The bright side is the rain did wash away the sweat we had accumulated the first few hours of the morning. Florida in late September, not as crisp as one would think! No light jacket needed for after the sun goes down! So there was the rain-strike 1.

Then there were the crowds! But wait, my blog experts all told me the end of September was a slow time for crowds!? Well apparently the late September of 2014 was when everyone decided to go to Disney so they wouldn’t have to wait!! Soooo wait we all did! It seemed like every park we chose to go to that day, our resort was totally mind-vibing me and doing the same thing!! (Did yall like that new word I made up? Yeah, me too!) Buses were slammed, we prayed for seats to sit down at the end of the day and honestly we didn’t end up winning the bus seat lottery too much! BUT our double stroller made it super easy for us to stand in a packed bus though….can you feel my sarcasm? So, each morning we packed our patience as we headed out the door and reminded the kids to do the same! One took it pretty well, the other…well let’s just say waiting in line for Eli is like trying to hold a greased watermelon. Wiggly, tiring and just plain hard!! So great—strike two!

But guess what guys?? There isn’t a strike three. I didn’t strike out! You know why?? Because miraculously by the grace of God I didn’t freak out about my schedule that was shot and my two strikes!! This is a monumental thing for me if you know me at all! Each morning I would wake up before my family and pray for an amazing day. I would ask God for good weather, short lines, happy children and to help me not miss Him in the day. And he delivered. Like He always does. I didn’t miss Him. I wasn’t so busy worrying about the weather and wait lines and if my kids/parents were going to be happy with my plan for the day that I missed Him. I caught the whispers and the taps on my shoulder. Look at their faces. Listen to their laughter. Isn’t it magical?! And it was.

 

God was so wonderful to me. He helped me make some of the most precious memories with my family! I am so grateful. And this made me think. Maybe I should share my Top Ten Do’s for Disney as well! So, here you are my friends…. this is how I Danced through Disney World and why I can’t wait to go back!!

1.      Watch your kids’ faces. Really watch them. Watch how their eyes dance at the sounds and lights all around them. Don’t miss the excitement when they see their favorite character because you are checking the wait time to see if it fits into your day!

2.      Dance with your child down Main Street. I know you’re not all dancers but take advantage of the fact that this is the one place on earth you can dance down a street holding the sweet hand of your 4 year old and not get arrested, or committed! Make a memory with them that involves you, not their favorite princess or ride.

3.      Put your phone away. The WDW apps are great and posting to social media is fun but I promise you if you give that phone a rest, you can really take it all in. Now I did have my phone to grab pictures here and there and I did do one facebook post each night but when my kids were awake and skipping through Epcot I saw it! And ya know what, I won’t need my timehop to remind me of it in a few years, I’ll remember it forever!

4.      Play the part. In Disney World everyone creates “the magic” for you. Characters, character handlers and even shop workers. They all have their imagination running wild and will answer your questions in a Disney-make-believe way. Jump in with them! Pretend it’s all real with your kids. You won’t regret feeling a bit silly when you see their face light up at your “pixie dust” moments. This is what I started calling it when I would pretend along with everyone. The best was when we pretended to shrink down to Tink’s size so we could have our picture made with her! J

5.      Remember that plans can change, and probably will. It’s great to go into the parks with a plan, trust me, but it’s also important to be flexible with those plans. If you want to leave the park early, leave. If you want to sleep in, sleep in. Don’t let the fact that it’s not on “the schedule” dictate what your body and family is telling you. Trust me, tired kids don’t always pack their patience!!

 

6.      Pick one thing to do each day. Yep—just one. Let your kids choose one thing they have to do. And then make sure you get that one thing done. Everything else is just a bonus! Think about it, if you run to your first ride because it’s the BIG ride and you know the line will be long later and you can’t afford to wait in lines because there are 7 rides you have to ride today before lunch reservations and so on and so on…..and you miss your kids seeing the castle for the first time was it really worth it?? Now I will tell you HG’s one thing was to see Anna and Elsa. It was a stressful hour and a half leading up to it, but Mom and I braved the crowds and did it. I knew it was her one thing. I wouldn’t want to do it again, but we did it.  And her face was totally worth it! And the rest of the day was carefree and relaxed because we had done her one thing! Trust me on this!

 

7.      Remember that Disney World is like an illegal drug for children. It makes them go a little bonkers! There are tears sometimes. But tears don’t ruin a trip. Our reaction does. There are frustrations for sure. But frustrations don’t ruin a trip. How we handle them does. I mean c’mon this place has sugar, toy stores and the need to spend on every corner! Of course the kids go a little crazy! Some people will disagree with me and that’s okay, but we decided to take a step back and give an extra dose of grace in the parks. If you expect your child to toe the line no matter where you are I respect that. Completely. Matt and I simply decided that our kids would probably melt down a few times here and there but we would respond with hugs and loves and wiping of tears rather than punishments. Just our 2 cents. P.S. If you don’t know this, it IS illegal to spank your children in the state of Florida so just be careful if you’re a mom who spanks! I personally think Walt Disney passed that law but it’s just a theory. J

8.      Take mental pictures. If you miss that “one in a million” photograph, don’t stress. Make a deliberate intention of taking in the faces and smiles that are usually caught by a camera lens. If the amazing camera you brought from home is in the bottom of your book bag and Minnie Mouse is rounding the corner don’t miss seeing your little one’s face because you were digging for the camera. Pictures fade and memory cards get accidentally deleted, but our mind stores things for a long, long time my friends.

9.      Pray each morning. It made such a difference on our trip. That’s my best piece of advice because if you do this one thing, He will be faithful to you. The wait lines and weather won’t affect his promises. Your heart will be in the right place too. Putting Him first each morning puts a positive vibe in your mind and heart that you can feel the whole day.

10.  Be in the moment. Really be there. Try to not let your mind race ahead of you. Try not to figure out exactly where to go next. Don’t miss the moment you’re in. Sit at the table and look across at your family and burn it into your mind. After all, you will never be there again. You will never be at that table, as a family, with your kids at the age they are, in that moment. It takes your breath away. You feel so blessed that all the problems that could possibly arise in Disney (and probably will) seem like distant thoughts. And while you’re living, really living, in that moment, remember to give thanks to the One who gave it to you in the first place.

Well, that’s it--my Disney blog. I hope this one is different for you than any other, not because it’s mine but because in all actuality it’s His. I really got the chance to dance through Disney and God was the reason why. I pray the same for you because this will be a trip I’ll never forget.

 

When There Are No Words

Today did not go as planned.

We had a girls weekend!! And for all of you mommas out there you know how rare and fabulous these are! There were 10 mommies piled into three cars, taking an eight hour trip to Nashville, TN. We were on our way to the dotmom conference which is an amazing event put on by Lifeway and reaches to the hearts of worn out mommies! It was a weekend filled with laughter, tears, discovery, more laughter and rejoicing! Hearts were changed, spirits renewed and friendships forged even stronger. Then the enemy attacked.

You know when you get to that place where your heart is on fire for the Lord and you want to go change the world for Him and you know that there will soon be an attack on your spirit? Yeah, I knew that too. What I didn’t know was how soon it would be. I knew I wanted to pray for all the mommies that went with us to have good first days back home and a good first week so that we could form a hedge of protection around us from the mess that was undoubtedly coming. But that sneaky devil, he didn’t even give us time. He knew all of us were thinking let’s start praying as soon as we get home. So, like the thief that comes in the night, he stole a bright spirit and amazing man from the earth….while we were all asleep in a hotel room in SC. We didn’t even have time to guard against it. The attack was so sudden. It was heartbreaking. And it was eye-opening.

Time. We don’t always have as much as we think we do. I don’t just mean in terms of death. I mean in terms of our hearts and souls. We think I’ll handle that tomorrow. I’ll guard my heart from frustration in the morning. I’ll snuggle with my kids tomorrow night because I’m too tired right now. But friends, we don’t always know when the attack will come. The night I choose to go to bed frustrated, I will undoubtedly wake up to a sick child or an overflowing toilet. The night I choose to fall asleep in front of the tv instead of praying, I will wake up to an emptiness in my heart. The night I choose to go to bed angry, I will wake up with regret. We need to grab each moment that we have and soak every ounce of God’s love and mercy out of it. Not to burst your bubble Scarlett O’Hara but it’s not always best to “think about that tomorrow.”

I have to admit I went to bed Saturday night (well actually Sunday morning) with a bad attitude. I was cranky from the car ride (I’m not a big road tripper!). I was in pain from my sciatic nerve flaring up. I just wanted to sleep. And so I did. I fell asleep without saying I’m sorry to the girls in the car with me. I know I didn’t make the trip any more enjoyable for them with my silent frustration that I’m sure they could all feel. So, just as you guessed I awoke to heartache. The heartbreaking scream from a friend made me jump out of my bed and run to the bathroom. And as I listened to half of a phone conversation and watched the tears fall from her eyes I could only sit and cry with her. There were no words. There were no words to comfort her right then. Only arms to wrap around her and tears to be spilled on the tiles beneath us. Three friends on the floor weeping for the heart that was breaking but not a single word was spoken. Sometimes that’s how life is. You don’t’ have the right words. Sometimes circumstances in this broken world leave us speechless. I am so thankful that God gave us arms to hold one another when these moments arise. He knew what he was doing when he gave us two arms and only one mouth. But as I sat there in my rumpled clothes from the night before I realized there were no words to take back how I had acted the night before. And it made my soul ache.  Of course this was a tiny grain of sand in comparison to our circumstances today, but it was an entire landslide in my heart. I realized that God wants us to have him first all the time. We don’t get a free pass if it’s 1:30am and we still haven’t found a place to sleep. We need him to be on the tip of our tongues at every turn. Trusting that He knows what lies ahead and he will prepare us. He might even give us the words we need to say before it’s just a little too late.  

I’m so glad He always has open arms for us. That he’s never too busy. That HE DOES have the right words at exactly the right moment. I just pray that I can have my heart in tune with Him enough to hear those words being spoken. Some have said that the tongue is the most powerful part of a person’s body but this weekend I have to disagree. Open arms that hold us tight were pretty powerful this past weekend, even when there were no words.

Goodbye 2012

Well it's New Year's Eve 2012. Time to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. Time to also say goodbye to the "holiday season" which I have to say I'm sad about. I always look forward to this time of year. My dad and husband are around more, the lights twinkle and line our street and everyone seems to be on the same page. We had a really fun Christmas together. The kids really understood what was going on this year and we had so much fun decorating the tree and setting up the train to circle underneath! We made a countdown chain to Christmas Day and each day we turned the train on and take a link off the chain. We even downloaded a Santa Tracker to hunt him down on Christmas Eve! It is so much fun to have children and make the magic of Christmas so big again!
I was so blessed by the kids this year and it helped so much because I felt homesick for the only place I celebrated Christmas as a kid. The house on Perkins Lane in Baton Rouge where my grandmother would wait for us to pull in the yard from our 12 hour drive. A two story house that was filled to the brim with every Christmas bear ever created, every musical knick knack that played christmas carols and the most amazing thing of all...LOVE. She was truly alive at Christmas. She loved every part of it and made it so special for us each year. I miss her so much. I miss Baton Rouge. I miss the smells, the food, the LSU campus at sunset, the family that surrounded me. It's a part of me. I spent every summer of my life in Louisiana-it's a part of me. Luckily for me I have an amazing husband who understands this and is taking me to New Orleans this summer for our anniversary. He is so good to me. And I actually was able to suprise him with a fun Christmas present this year.
Every year he hints at things he would like and I try to still suprise him with which one I've chosen for him. But not this year. This year I bought a few things I knew he would like to have for his new job at work but I also let my creative side show! I made him a 12 Days of Christmas (which I have to admit I stole the idea from Pinterest--but put all my ideas into it) and have been "torturing" him with it since. It's 12 envelopes that are marked day 1 through 12 and he gets to open an envelope each day. Inside the envelope are two cards that are taped shut. One is labeled "Nice" and one is labeleed "Naughty." He has to choose only one and I will do whatever the card says. I won't give all my secrets away for the 12 days, but today he opened "Naughty" and got a 5 minute massage.....if he had picked "Nice" it would have been a 15 minute massage. It is so much fun and it's a way I get to keep Christmas going for 11 extra days! It also is driving him insane because my husband is one to not keep secrets well and doens't understand that I am rock solid in keeping mine!! :) He keeps fishing for hints but my lips are sealed!! I hope to make this a tradition I do each year for him! We also had a creative spin for the grandparents this year. We took silver chagers and painted the kids fingerprints with tempura paint. Their little fingerprints all the way around the edge of the charger looked just like christmas lights. We drew in to string the "lights" together and wrote a poem on the inside about how their fingers will only be that small for this Christmas. It was lots of fun for the kids and the grands really enjoyed a homemade gift from them!
I hope your holiday season has been filled with lots of fun memories and special gifts too. I'll leave you with a few clips of Christmas morning from our house!! Happy New Year my friends. May 2013 be a blessing to you and your families!!