On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

I’m sure you all know where this is going…Mean Girls! The movie came out ten years ago and had us all laughing at the ridiculous clique-driven high school scene. I’m sure for some of us it hit home in a few spots as well. Can you believe that ten years later we still hear little one liners from the movie and know exactly where it came from?! Can you believe that ten years later we think of the term “plastic” as more than just a synthetic material. And can you believe that ten years later we are seeing more and more of the “mean girl” epidemic in real life?! Did no one see Regina George get slammed by that bus at the end?? And although some of what I see is on social media, what is on my heart today is what I am hearing about in preschool.

Yes, you read that last word correctly. I have heard stories lately of 4 year old girls criticizing clothes, telling one another they “aren’t friends” and directing other girls not to sit by “that” girl. Really? 4 years old? I thought I would have a few more years before my child is refusing to wear a certain pair of pants because “Suzie* laughed at those pants when I wore them, I don’t want to wear them anymore.” (* names have been changed to protect the innocent heehee!) This Mama Bear did not like hearing that come from her girl's lips. At. All. I wanted to march right up to that school and find the Mini-Regina who laughed at my girl and sit her down for a quick chat! That fire comes up in me like I’m sure it does for all of you moms out there as well. But what I want even more than that little sit-down is for HesterGrace to be strong enough to stand up for who she wants to be. I want her to fight her own battles (and win of course LOL). No, seriously I want her to remember that above everything, all the noise and distractions, that God’s opinion of us is the only one that matters. And I can guarantee He is more worried about our hearts than our choice of pants.

It is my desire to equip HesterGrace with biblical truths that speak life into her broken heart and provide courage to face her giants. It is also my desire for the mommies of this world to do the same. Unfortunately, I find myself wondering if we have a generation of “mean mommies” who are raising mean girls. I’m not sure they are doing it on purpose, but we are so saturated in social media and…let’s be honest…bragging about our children online that we are creating little self-absorbed mean girls. I just had a friend tell me that her daughter came out of her dance class and said “mommy the mean girl let me sit beside her!!” Can we please read that again? “Mommy, the mean girl LET me sit beside her.” Now correct me if I’m wrong but I’m thinking that this little 4 year old hasn’t learned how to exclude people and tell others where to sit by watching the movie “Mean Girls.” We as mommies have to set the right example. I know it’s all smocking and bows and designer boots at first but then it turns into a clique of Matilda Jane-Persnickity-UGG-Wearers that exclude the Target wearing child. I’m not saying you can't dress your little girl in any of those designer brands (they’re FABULOUS) but I am saying to not let the labels define her. And I promise if you make the label a big deal, she will too. She hears you say things about your Mommy friends’ clothes or how you would never be caught dead in “that” outfit and she follows suit. She also doesn’t miss it when you snub your nose at the girl in the hand-me-down leotard in the dance studio lobby. They’re watching us. They’re remembering. They’re learning by our example.

I am so thankful that I did not grow up in this Selfie Social Media generation and I don’t have the habit of looking at how many likes my picture gets on Instagram to measure my self-worth.  I do think that we, as mommies, can fall into the deep canyon of what I call the Facebook Faceoff. “Well if little Jane has those boots and that outfit for apple picking then my Sally needs an outfit even better if I’m going to post pictures.” And suddenly a fun family day of apple picking is spent fussing at her not to get that expensive outfit dirty before you snap the perfect picture. It’s a steep climb to get out of that canyon. I speak from experience…unfortunately. And I’m only sharing this with all of you so you can see that I am no Super Mom and I’m right there beside you trying my hardest to be a good one--and sometimes falling down. Plus, I think real friends are honest! I loved having HesterGrace in everything smocked and frilly in the first few years of her life. She was my real life baby doll!! I found myself needing an outfit for each change of season, holiday, birthday party and family picture session. Oh—and a matching bow!! I also found myself loving the compliments on how cute her outfits were. Then suddenly she turned 3 and needed NO help picking out clothes. We would fight most mornings, especially Sundays—let me hang my head in shame on that note – on her outfit of the day. “That isn’t appropriate for church/school/picture day” is what I would say to her but on the inside I was saying “she can’t wear that…what will people think?” I was choosing what other people MIGHT think over my own child’s confidence at that moment. Confidence that her mommy truly believed she was beautiful in whatever she wore. Confidence that she so badly needed from me. When that truth smacked me in the face it was not a frilly feeling. It was a sobering realization of how far I’d fallen into the canyon that  I  created. So now, today (through gritted teeth sometimes) I choose her. I choose to give her the freedom to dress herself in what makes her happy and gives her confidence to face that day with a smile. Because after all isn’t that what we truly want for our daughters? To be confident, independent girls who won’t let a mean girl walk all over their hearts. Confident teenagers who choose a mission trip with their family over a spring break party at the beach. Confident young women who one day will choose the man who truly makes them happy over the one who looks picture perfect. Let’s help them make wise decisions that make their heart and their God happy. Let’s equip them to be confident enough to take the path less traveled and make a difference!

I pray I can be the mom who is my daughter’s biggest cheerleader while also being the voice of reason that guides her life with love and kindness. May her mouth be filled with kind words and her heart full of God’s love. May I set the right example for her to see those things in me. After all, we lead by example right? I also pray that we can raise a generation of God’s Girls who think “mean girls” is just a movie title.

Thanks Arie Cat for being an example of a girl whose heart is full of love and mouth full of kind words.

 

Dancing Through Disney

Well we did it! We made it to the happiest place on earth! Walt Disney World! We have been planning for 3 years and finally saved the money and went all in! We did the resort, dining plan, four days in the park, the whole she-bang!! And it was magical! But the funny thing was it wasn’t The Mouse that made this vacation magical. It was a whole new level of magic for me.

Okay so let’s be honest if you’re on Pinterest you know there are hundreds of blogs designed for “The Best Disney Trip with Toddlers” or “The Money Saving Disney Trip” or “How To Get The Most Out of WDW” and I, being the planner that I am, read most (okay all) of the ones I came across! I was on Disney Download Mode!! I had all the tips, secrets and packing lists of those who have gone before me. I downloaded the app with our reservations and ride wait times on my phone. I found a double jogging stroller for those late nights in the parks. I booked with THE BEST Disney travel agent there is—message me for her contact info J -- I was ready! And then we made it to Disney and half of my plans went out the window! For starters, it rained every day we were there. Now I had read the blog about how September is bad for rain but it usually clears up after about 20 minutes so throw a poncho on and wait it out! Well, it didn’t! It rained and then misted and then drizzled and then poured! So we were a tad soggy on a daily basis! The bright side is the rain did wash away the sweat we had accumulated the first few hours of the morning. Florida in late September, not as crisp as one would think! No light jacket needed for after the sun goes down! So there was the rain-strike 1.

Then there were the crowds! But wait, my blog experts all told me the end of September was a slow time for crowds!? Well apparently the late September of 2014 was when everyone decided to go to Disney so they wouldn’t have to wait!! Soooo wait we all did! It seemed like every park we chose to go to that day, our resort was totally mind-vibing me and doing the same thing!! (Did yall like that new word I made up? Yeah, me too!) Buses were slammed, we prayed for seats to sit down at the end of the day and honestly we didn’t end up winning the bus seat lottery too much! BUT our double stroller made it super easy for us to stand in a packed bus though….can you feel my sarcasm? So, each morning we packed our patience as we headed out the door and reminded the kids to do the same! One took it pretty well, the other…well let’s just say waiting in line for Eli is like trying to hold a greased watermelon. Wiggly, tiring and just plain hard!! So great—strike two!

But guess what guys?? There isn’t a strike three. I didn’t strike out! You know why?? Because miraculously by the grace of God I didn’t freak out about my schedule that was shot and my two strikes!! This is a monumental thing for me if you know me at all! Each morning I would wake up before my family and pray for an amazing day. I would ask God for good weather, short lines, happy children and to help me not miss Him in the day. And he delivered. Like He always does. I didn’t miss Him. I wasn’t so busy worrying about the weather and wait lines and if my kids/parents were going to be happy with my plan for the day that I missed Him. I caught the whispers and the taps on my shoulder. Look at their faces. Listen to their laughter. Isn’t it magical?! And it was.

 

God was so wonderful to me. He helped me make some of the most precious memories with my family! I am so grateful. And this made me think. Maybe I should share my Top Ten Do’s for Disney as well! So, here you are my friends…. this is how I Danced through Disney World and why I can’t wait to go back!!

1.      Watch your kids’ faces. Really watch them. Watch how their eyes dance at the sounds and lights all around them. Don’t miss the excitement when they see their favorite character because you are checking the wait time to see if it fits into your day!

2.      Dance with your child down Main Street. I know you’re not all dancers but take advantage of the fact that this is the one place on earth you can dance down a street holding the sweet hand of your 4 year old and not get arrested, or committed! Make a memory with them that involves you, not their favorite princess or ride.

3.      Put your phone away. The WDW apps are great and posting to social media is fun but I promise you if you give that phone a rest, you can really take it all in. Now I did have my phone to grab pictures here and there and I did do one facebook post each night but when my kids were awake and skipping through Epcot I saw it! And ya know what, I won’t need my timehop to remind me of it in a few years, I’ll remember it forever!

4.      Play the part. In Disney World everyone creates “the magic” for you. Characters, character handlers and even shop workers. They all have their imagination running wild and will answer your questions in a Disney-make-believe way. Jump in with them! Pretend it’s all real with your kids. You won’t regret feeling a bit silly when you see their face light up at your “pixie dust” moments. This is what I started calling it when I would pretend along with everyone. The best was when we pretended to shrink down to Tink’s size so we could have our picture made with her! J

5.      Remember that plans can change, and probably will. It’s great to go into the parks with a plan, trust me, but it’s also important to be flexible with those plans. If you want to leave the park early, leave. If you want to sleep in, sleep in. Don’t let the fact that it’s not on “the schedule” dictate what your body and family is telling you. Trust me, tired kids don’t always pack their patience!!

 

6.      Pick one thing to do each day. Yep—just one. Let your kids choose one thing they have to do. And then make sure you get that one thing done. Everything else is just a bonus! Think about it, if you run to your first ride because it’s the BIG ride and you know the line will be long later and you can’t afford to wait in lines because there are 7 rides you have to ride today before lunch reservations and so on and so on…..and you miss your kids seeing the castle for the first time was it really worth it?? Now I will tell you HG’s one thing was to see Anna and Elsa. It was a stressful hour and a half leading up to it, but Mom and I braved the crowds and did it. I knew it was her one thing. I wouldn’t want to do it again, but we did it.  And her face was totally worth it! And the rest of the day was carefree and relaxed because we had done her one thing! Trust me on this!

 

7.      Remember that Disney World is like an illegal drug for children. It makes them go a little bonkers! There are tears sometimes. But tears don’t ruin a trip. Our reaction does. There are frustrations for sure. But frustrations don’t ruin a trip. How we handle them does. I mean c’mon this place has sugar, toy stores and the need to spend on every corner! Of course the kids go a little crazy! Some people will disagree with me and that’s okay, but we decided to take a step back and give an extra dose of grace in the parks. If you expect your child to toe the line no matter where you are I respect that. Completely. Matt and I simply decided that our kids would probably melt down a few times here and there but we would respond with hugs and loves and wiping of tears rather than punishments. Just our 2 cents. P.S. If you don’t know this, it IS illegal to spank your children in the state of Florida so just be careful if you’re a mom who spanks! I personally think Walt Disney passed that law but it’s just a theory. J

8.      Take mental pictures. If you miss that “one in a million” photograph, don’t stress. Make a deliberate intention of taking in the faces and smiles that are usually caught by a camera lens. If the amazing camera you brought from home is in the bottom of your book bag and Minnie Mouse is rounding the corner don’t miss seeing your little one’s face because you were digging for the camera. Pictures fade and memory cards get accidentally deleted, but our mind stores things for a long, long time my friends.

9.      Pray each morning. It made such a difference on our trip. That’s my best piece of advice because if you do this one thing, He will be faithful to you. The wait lines and weather won’t affect his promises. Your heart will be in the right place too. Putting Him first each morning puts a positive vibe in your mind and heart that you can feel the whole day.

10.  Be in the moment. Really be there. Try to not let your mind race ahead of you. Try not to figure out exactly where to go next. Don’t miss the moment you’re in. Sit at the table and look across at your family and burn it into your mind. After all, you will never be there again. You will never be at that table, as a family, with your kids at the age they are, in that moment. It takes your breath away. You feel so blessed that all the problems that could possibly arise in Disney (and probably will) seem like distant thoughts. And while you’re living, really living, in that moment, remember to give thanks to the One who gave it to you in the first place.

Well, that’s it--my Disney blog. I hope this one is different for you than any other, not because it’s mine but because in all actuality it’s His. I really got the chance to dance through Disney and God was the reason why. I pray the same for you because this will be a trip I’ll never forget.